I'm in my room, again.

And ever since i moved in, i was like..

so attached to this place. Especially nowadays.

I spend about 90% of my day in here now.

Being lifeless.

I had been writing and then deleting what i wrote.

I really wish i could write down my feelings here lah.

But i just.. can't.

Alright. I miss high school.

And i miss my times over there.

I love my friends, though they're not like..

very very very great or very very very cool

I'm just lucky and happy to have them as part of my life

The important thing to me is their inside, not the outside.

Yalah, i've been asking too much once.

So it's better off to appreciate what's around.

Rather than, craving for illusionary perfect friends.

Well. Some seem bullshit to people. I admit that.

Yeah bullshit do piss me off sometimes.

But at least, bullshit might just

turn to zero-bullshitness sometimes and

stand up for you when you're really fcuking bullshit.

So, bullshit can be your friend too. LMAO.

Okay la. Then about me.

I'm totally. so not perfect. 

The first thing is about my self esteem.

I care a lot about how people think about me

and yes, that's partially why.. i'm so bad in expressing myself.

Sometimes i just don't get to be myself.

And the second thing is, the shy-ness.

I've been dying to get rid of it.

I mean. Why so shy lah liggy! C'mon.

Show what you've got.

And yes yes!

I'm bad in communicating.

I can't usually express how i feel through words.

Typing or writing down seems more easier to me.

The worst part. Being alone.

Sometimes when i enter my empty house,

i feel... strange. It's like the times when i'm form 4,

waking up to find myself being alone.

Cooked my breakfast alone, lunch alone.

I have a problem with that. It's my fear.

But it's really different if i've my family in the house,

then i'm in the room alone. Things would be way diff.

But.. I just hope that i would change la. 

Into a better person or something.