Coward.

"I don't know how much longer can I hold so much disappointment.

Something I have never excelled in. Something that have let me down, over and over again.

Only god knows how grateful I am with what I am showered with. 

But there's this one thing that doesn't make sense.
And that I really don't understand.

I really don't."

I am a coward.
Posting what's above in Bread and Butter, everyone can see it.
And I can't bare what damage it is going to cost me, maybe typing here is way easier.

I actually cried on my way home today.
Not because he didn't want to talk to me still.
Not because I miss him but it reminds me of what a failure I am to have the history repeat again.
Yes or no? Is it just me or what?

Something wrong with me?
I don't get it and I have been searching for answers all the time.
Or is it that he isn't the guy for me? Or what? I need someone to give me an answer.
No point typing here so fast.

My head is about to explode with all the questions inside.
Did I just get played again? Or, if he's just not that into you?
Boy, I don't know what to do. I swear, I have been trying.

I am SUCH AN IDIOT. FUCK.
I CANNOT STAND THE TORTURE.