I write less over here ever since I created "MingliBites".

But if you've noticed, I don't blog much about my feelings out there.
Well, that happened ever since horrible things started happening on me,

I swear I'd never trust someone so easily ever again.
And to never, ever show people who I was.

Not especially people like her.

Lim Jia Ki.

She nearly ruined my college life.

But guess what? It's been months and I've gotten over those shits.

Despite all those garbage that came out from her mouth, 

I've made new friends, met better people. 

And of course I can live without him!

But she can't. 

Yes, I admit that I've changed.

After all those shitty matters, the impact changed me even more.

Not my appearance, not my personality, but the way I think.

And then it got me stressed out, really. I spent my time figuring out what I want.

No matter what I do, where I go, I've to HIDE. I hate those bitches gossip about me.

I hate people discussing behind my back whether I already had sex or not.

And I hate people calling me... a slut? or a lesbian? a play girl or something?

Almost the whole class knows about what happened back in highschool.

Thanks to Lim Jia Ki. And if you were me, are you gonna go nuts?
Go nuts when nobody wants to talk to you.

Just because of the rumours.

And there's once, during Drawing III.

I was shading my stickman in class and I got really bored.
So I took out my iPhone and started to view photos from Instagram.
Guess what... Seongyu's beside me and he splurted out those words I'm so sensitive of!
In that class were nobody else except people like Shi Kia, Peng Jiet and Jiaki.

Seong Yu. He fucking said, "Hey, you kap lui or what?"
I was like... FUCK man, why do you always have to say the wrong thing

 at the wrong time! in front of the wrong people!

It's not that I hate Seong Yu or what.
Yes, he is my friend and he could be a great company.

But! His mouth. OH-MY-GOD. He ALWAYS says the wrong thing!

In front of Jia Ki, he would sometimes said to me, 

"Why don't you ask Peng Jiet? Everyone are FRIENDS" then gave me a sly smile.

And I always felt like punching him because I really had enough of them both.

They are OUT OF MY LIFE. And I wouldn't want them to come back and mess it up again.

I don't wanna created more problems for myself as that Lim Jia Ki is such a paranoid.

She thinks of things far beyond reality.

All I want is just to be accepted, and I could be really really nice.

I'm growing up with time, I face a lot of pressure from the public.

 I see all sorts of people. Different people, they give me different feelings.

And deep inside, I know I can trust nobody no matter how nice that person is.

That's also part of the reason why I feel horrible, I've nobody to talk to.

People around wouldn't understand the situation I'm going through.

How can I expect people to talk to me about things they don't know?

And then I started thinking about the future.

I thought about mom and dad.

I thought about everything.

A change would definitely swipe away part of myself.

And it is hard and it would hurt. Baby, I know that it would hurt.

But I really can't take the pressure. I have to... let go of it.