Friday, April 26

Nightmare

It's 7.13pm and I have just woken up from a dream.
A nightmare, I have to say.

Probably because I read about that man-made "haunted house" in Japan right before I sleep.
They said it was so scary that nobody has ever finished the whole journey.
But anyway, what I dreamt happened outdoors.

I was dreaming about this weird place, I was having dinner at.
It is a dimmed-lit restaurant, doesn't seem like Malaysia to me.
For some reasons, I went in and out of the restaurant for a total of 5 or 6 times.
Surprisingly, the waiter did not get frustrated of me.

Suddenly, all the lights were off. It turned into a club/pub.
However, there was this huge window in front of us with strong lights shining in.
He invited me for dinner with his boss, a woman in her 40s, wicked smile.
We were served appetizers that are prepared right in front of us.
And I find it a abit funny because it has to be in Octopus shape.
(Vegetable arrangements)

And that person standing right next to me is my BFF, Yik Ting.
Once, we passed by a field full of animal bodies. The parts are shattered, blood everywhere.
There was this hand of a gorilla, ran over by trucks/cars, furless.
And a dog, stuck on the tree. Like 1 or 2 storeys high.
With its burning red paws trying to hold on to it.

It was such a nauseating scene.

And then, out of nowhere.
A Hyena appeared and came dashing towards us. 
We had to jump off an edge and hid in a drain, a deep one.
Our hands hung to support our bodies, but suddenly the drain changed into something else.
It changed into a building, where there is another person bathing and singing on the other side of the wall.
The wall we were clinging on to. And suddenly, our legs touched the ground, we were indoors.
I looked around, realized that we were in the laundry room because there are white cloths everywhere.
Then I saw daddy come in, asking for a hairdryer. To my horror, I immediately had this vision.
The hairdryer could be converted into a drill when taken off its casing.
For some reasons, daddy took it off the casing, forgot about it and started using it.
I wanted to cry because I just witness my dad killed himself in front of me.

But it was just a vision. Thank god daddy didn't die.
I woke up, shocked. Realised how bad things could happen in a split second.
Then, this thought came to me. I am 21 years old now, aging. This happens to daddy and mummy as well.
I can't imagine the day when we finally have to part in this world.
I wish, it didn't have to happen at all.

Mum and Dad.
I love you guys.

Monday, April 8

Stress

I had an awesome day-out with Sean yesterday.
He brought me to places that I wanted to go, sometimes he's such a darling.
But the guiltiness is there, I can't stop thinking about assignments.
It's pilling up, higher and higher, and I'm so worried that I couldn't finish them in time.

It's WEEK 3 already.
Why didn't I feel the PUSH yet?
Sigh

Go Mingli, GO GO GO!

Monday, April 1

Monday

Went out with Sean for dinner last night.
Dad was away, and mom doesn't wanna cook me dinner. Ugh.

We had this awesome Wan Tan Mee at Chulia Street.
Gosh, I've never liked Wan Tan Mee, but how come this one tastes so good?!

Things went pretty well, no more awkward silence/stares.
LOL, at least we have something to talk about right now, right?
He's not shy anymore, I'm no longer quiet.
Fair enough.

I think things are working out between us. As friends.
Let's see if I could make him, one of my BEST friends.

It felt great that I have stopped thinking about Stanic for a while.
I don't miss him anymore, but I still think about him sometimes.
His silhouette, his dark hair, brown eyes, angular face and smile.
Yes, maybe I miss his body but not his soul.
I hate it when someone lies to me
or want something from me.

And I'm feeling better today, now.
Going to college sounds dreadful to me.
Fakers everywhere, but still. I guess I'd just have to remain positive.
It's the last 5 months in Equator, make some friends perhaps?
Well, it's not like everyone hates me or what.

Yik Ting could be my friend.
Nick, SeongYu, Jiet and Nein, could be.
I'd just try and mingle around, like Zach says.
Maybe he's right at some point, I should do what I like and fuck the others.
And at least, stop being so EMOOOOOO and self concious.

You'll be fine, darling.
You'll be fine, don't worry.
:)