I'm feeling horrible now.
God knows why.

My bro smokes Marijuana?!
Wtf. I can't believe that.
He's making whatever kind of pot from a plastic water bottle.
And mom actually believes that he drink the water in it?

Omg, what am I gonna do?
I have no one to tell.
Like seriously.

KL

宝贝，明天我下来找你了。

MOIS

Stepped into the club yesterday for the first time, without you.
I was a little afraid. ( In fact, I am always scared whenever I step into Mois. )
And it felt so different. So different without you with me. WTF

I caught myself constantly staring at the tables we used to stand.
Then I told myself, I should be enjoying at this hour. Not reminiscing bullshits.
So I started drinking and dancing. Never felt so happy before.

1 a.m.
Jason brought me to the dance floor.
The other guys went as well.

We were dancing and out of a sudden, he hugged me so tight.
Like wtf, my best friend huggggged me. And for whattttt?!
I ignored him and continued dancing until I got really dizzy.
He brought me to the toilet, got my a few glasses of water and yeah..
I was okay again and he brought me to the dance floor.
Then fucking hugged me again.

I seriously wanted to push him away because the others would see.
I know, I know, we are in the club and we could actually do whatever we want.
But I didn't want it. I became so speechless I didn't even wanna look at him.
I grabbed my fist so tight and turned my head away while he whispered something into my ear.
I could not even digest what he had said to me, all I could picture was you and I started to hit him.
Yes, he's been into me for like a year or more already but... damn.
NO! I DIDN'T LIKE THAT.
FUCK.

I kept telling myself.
It's okay. It's okaaaaaaaaay.
He's your best friend, and those hugs mean NOTHING.
But I gotta face it, it doesn't mean NOTHING to him. It meant SOMETHING.
And he has a fucking GIRLFRIEND at home, he shouldn't be doing this!
Like seriously.
Gosh.

All a sudden, it became so clear to me.
And I got my thoughts figured out on the dance floor.

Still can't get over you, babe.
I really love you.
A lot.

So much that my doors are closed for any other guys out there.
You made me one silly girl. So dumb and so stupid.
Happy?

Dream again.

Before I forget this dream, I'd like to jot it down. Here.
It was another weird dream I had last night.
I was on vacation with a few friends.
Couldn't remember who they are.

We were in Chengdu.
I didn't know how the hell did I even got there.
It started with us (6 person including myself) sitting at the porch of a hut.
The grass around us were dead and that was the only hut on the entire wasteland.
Out of nowhere, a fortune teller approached us and handed everyone of us a piece of paper.
He asked us to read the contents on it (which indicates our destiny).
To prove that he's not lying, he asked us to tore the paper into two.
And when I do so, 3 more pieces of paper fell out from the paper itself.
Odd, isn't it? But I was amazed.

The first was the picture of my mom, with her chinese name on it.
The second were details of where I live etc.
Couldn't remember the third one.

So... I guess the contents were true.
But how come I couldn't recall any of it?!
Dafuq.

Then here came the second scene.
I was at the balcony of our "hotel" room.
Doesn't really seem like a hotel though, it was more like a place where Aladdin stays. wtf.
It was approximately 5-6 storeys high, and beneath the "hotel" was a long stretch of market.
Somehow, my eyes was drawn to two guys opposite the building.
It was him. And his friend, Gons?!

And there they were, walking to buy breakfast for themselves.
I think I quickly turned away before they get to see me.

How did I actually come up with this dream?
It was so weird. It was just... so weird and full of imagination.
Cheng Du?! Why not Malaysia instead.
Cos I'm heading to KL in two weeks time.