MOIS

Stepped into the club yesterday for the first time, without you.
I was a little afraid. ( In fact, I am always scared whenever I step into Mois. )
And it felt so different. So different without you with me. WTF

I caught myself constantly staring at the tables we used to stand.
Then I told myself, I should be enjoying at this hour. Not reminiscing bullshits.
So I started drinking and dancing. Never felt so happy before.

1 a.m.
Jason brought me to the dance floor.
The other guys went as well.

We were dancing and out of a sudden, he hugged me so tight.
Like wtf, my best friend huggggged me. And for whattttt?!
I ignored him and continued dancing until I got really dizzy.
He brought me to the toilet, got my a few glasses of water and yeah..
I was okay again and he brought me to the dance floor.
Then fucking hugged me again.

I seriously wanted to push him away because the others would see.
I know, I know, we are in the club and we could actually do whatever we want.
But I didn't want it. I became so speechless I didn't even wanna look at him.
I grabbed my fist so tight and turned my head away while he whispered something into my ear.
I could not even digest what he had said to me, all I could picture was you and I started to hit him.
Yes, he's been into me for like a year or more already but... damn.
NO! I DIDN'T LIKE THAT.
FUCK.

I kept telling myself.
It's okay. It's okaaaaaaaaay.
He's your best friend, and those hugs mean NOTHING.
But I gotta face it, it doesn't mean NOTHING to him. It meant SOMETHING.
And he has a fucking GIRLFRIEND at home, he shouldn't be doing this!
Like seriously.
Gosh.

All a sudden, it became so clear to me.
And I got my thoughts figured out on the dance floor.

Still can't get over you, babe.
I really love you.
A lot.

So much that my doors are closed for any other guys out there.
You made me one silly girl. So dumb and so stupid.
Happy?